philodoxdreams

My every 6 months r so update.

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 11:55:44 GMT

So, it's that time. It's been a busy year really - made it through spring and summer classes while working full time, midnights. Im tired all the time, frustrated that there isnt something worthwhile out there for shadus - who still hasnt found a job, but not for lack of trying. Things are getting harder and harder to keep up with and I can feel myself slowing down. Fall semester is coming up fast - 16 credit hours/5 classes. If I survive it, I'll be amazed.

Michael's been a busy bee this summer - two weeks at camp, which he loved and now ten days in south carolina for his aunt's wedding. At some point after Mike died, she decided she wanted to date men again (nothing wrong with dating women, mind, it was just unexpected from her). Now, she and her boyfriend are getting married. Im very happy for them and I hope that when she moves back we can start doing things again. We used to go out all the time together. We'll see. Marcus turned 2 years old on August 6. We had the party Sunday though because it was my long week at work. All in all it turned out well - he got some nice clothes, a really adorable little jean jacket and toys of course. We really need to go through the boys' toys again and clear out what they don't play with or have outgrown.

The friend front is very good - I still miss some people who used to be such a big part of my life and now, they aren't. I've accepted that for what it is and try not to dwell on it too much. I have a few really great friends around me now who have more than shown me what a real friend is. One helped me with the party - picked up the cake and ice cream and then sort of disappeared. I looked outside and her car was gone. This confused me greatly- I thought something might of happened to grandma or something - called and called, no answer. Finally got an ambiguous text which of course only made me want to call and call more to see what the heck was going on. I finally got ahold of her before work and it was still..brief and uncertain. She wasn't ok, but that was ok. well, no...it isn't ok but Im not going to force something. I guess I can just hope it isn't something that I did or said or that my often socially negligent other half said without thinking about the feelings involved or..something..I suppose when it's time, I'll get a phone call and something more akin to a conversation than shaky, tear laced mumbles. I worry about people. Its my personal curse. My shrink was right when she said that I surround myself with people who need something - be it emotional or mental or physical help. I'm ok with that. I feel good knowing that I can help the people I care for, even it's only by being there. I hope she knows I'm always here.

We started a restaurant review group! Wee. It's been fun - our once a month get together reviews where we go. Amusing at the very least. Our reviews so far are at http://www.adultnightout.org - I know, I know - it sounds like a bad porn site but I swear it isnt! Have two small trips planned for the very near future. One to a convention/ren faire thing in new jersey, apparently they have taken over the entire hotel and are decorating it like a labyrinth. No joke! We are hopefully getting a vendor room so we can sell some of our crafty goodness while we're there. The other trip is the annual Avengers get together - guild from EQ2. Last year it was Hershey Park - I think this year we are aiming for an indoor water park, probably Cast A Way Bay up near Cedar Point. Not too sure on that yet except its in October again.

Need ..more...gaming...

You have to wonder..is this what ETs think?!

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 22:28:33 GMT

This was something one of my guildmates from EQ2 wrote. I had to share it.

THEY’RE MADE OUT OF MEAT by Terry Bisson

“They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“There’s no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.”

“That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?”

“They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.”

“So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.”

“They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient meat.”

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they’re made out of meat.”

“Maybe they’re like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage.”

“Nope. They’re born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn’t take long. Do you have any idea what’s the life span of meat?”

“Spare me. Okay, maybe they’re only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside.”

“Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through.”

“No brain?”

“Oh, there’s a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“So … what does the thinking?”

“You’re not understanding, are you? You’re refusing to deal with what I’m telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat.”

“Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!”

“Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?”

“Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat.”

“Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they’ve been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years.”

“Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?”

“First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual.”

“We’re supposed to talk to meat.”

“That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.’ That sort of thing.”

“They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?”
“Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.”

“I thought you just told me they used radio.”

“They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.”

“Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?”

“Officially or unofficially?”

“Both.”

“Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing.”

“I was hoping you would say that.”

“It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?”

“I agree one hundred percent. What’s there to say? ‘Hello, meat. How’s it going?’ But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?”

“Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can’t live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact.”

“So we just pretend there’s no one home in the Universe.”

“That’s it.”

“Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You’re sure they won’t remember?”

“They’ll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we’re just a dream to them.”

“A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat’s dream.”

“And we marked the entire sector unoccupied.”

“Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?”

“Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again.”

“They always come around.”

“And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone …”

the end

What is Life

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 18:24:41 GMT

What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night.
It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.
It is the little shadow which runs across
the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator 1830 - 1890
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, Great Spirit
Whose voice I hear in the winds,
And whose breath gives life to all the world,
hear me, I am small and weak,
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold
the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have
made and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things
you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have
hidden in every leaf and rock. I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my Spirit may come to you without shame.
-Yellow Lark, Lakota Chief, 1887

Rest in Peace Robin.

All sorts of strange

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 01:09:46 GMT

Its been awhile, thought Id peek in and prove I've not been abducted by aliens lately. So, Friday I get a call from Florida -someone I haven't seen or heard from in YEARS. We used to LARP and rp together. An overall nice guy. We talked awhile about the past and I caught him up on things he was never made aware of (like Mike's death). He's trying to get in touch with some other old friends too. I hope he does.

Saturday we left for Hershey Park in PA to meet up with some guildmates from EQ2 for a get together. I tried to kill us all about halfway there when my body decided it was going to sleep -no big deal except that I was DRIVING! Thankfully the rumble strips are heavy duty and scary-loud. I was wide awake the rest of the trip. The day turned out to be sunny and 60, which is better than raining and 40. Everyone was really great and there were plenty of kids for Michael to play with. The baby was left with Grammie for the weekend. We'd meant to get souvaniers and totally forgot (sorry guys!)with everything going on and meeting everyone. The hotel was ok..beds were hard as hell though. Or maybe that's what a new- normal- bed feels like and I'm just to used to sleeping on the sagging 19year old mattress...

The drive home was cloudy and cold and sprinkling and I had a strange revelation, or maybe I dreamt it and was remembering, regardless it went something like this:

God is a woman.

Yep. How did I come to this awe inspiring conclusion? It dawned on me that men have nipples. Stay with me here, there is a method to my madness. Men have nipples because at conception, all human life is female. Now...God made Adam the "first" man "in his own image", according to Christian belief. All men have nipples which means Adam had nipples and thus he had to first be female...thus God is a She and a not He.

It makes scary sense, doesn't it.

Oi

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 18:33:08 GMT

So much going on since my last update. Im bad, I know..*hides*

I changed my major. Yeah. Out of Education, where Ohio is, the jobs and the pay to survive, are not. Im going to attempt to complete a social services program in 2 years. That opens so many more doors for me than education around here.

Michael spent his first week away from all family and friends this week at Camp. We pick him up tonight - I hope he had a lot of fun. Camp was a great time for both shadus and I when we were kids.

My little brother - still with that waste of life father of mine. Lesa was arrested for selling drugs..Big Shock. Shortly after her dad bailed her out, she went into the hospital with congential heart failure. She's had a triple bypass (again) and spent the last three weeks totally sedated because her lungs filled with fluid and would not heal. They were draining this thick black sh*t out of them - cocaine residue. Isn't it nice? Such a lovely family. She swears she isn't going back down until he's out but we'll see how long that lasts. My bets are for it not lasting at all. She's talked the talk too long and never done anything about it. My prediction for that whole situation down there is very bleak indeed. And my poor little brother, suffering in the middle.

On a lighter note, the baby is getting soo big. He's trying to walk. One year is coming fast...

I'm also trying my hand at a small side business, PartyLite. So email me and buy some candles!!
Seriouslly though, you candle lover friends of mine..Im willing to travel a bit even if you want to have a show and invite people to eat and drink and buy candles ;)

I also want to thak siamese_anne for the LOVELY hand bound journal I got in lit_melissa's journal swap. It was so much fun!

Thats all for now.

That Time of year again

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 20:47:06 GMT

Well, here's an update for you all.

Marcus is doing well, he's huge! Michael is doing very well though having some trouble at school with focusing on his work. His teacher says he's very very bright and intelligent but doesn't pay attention. We're working on that.

I'm good, the daycare is almost ready to open, -finally-. Ralph is well, working like a dog right now and then going and working out at the gym on top of it.

It's that time of year again, Michael is participating in the jump rope for heart program. Here's the weblink for any one of you kind souls out there who might like to donate and help him earn prizes and jump rope his great big little heart out for a cause.

http://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=123013&supId=118850062

Happy New Year

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 19:56:26 GMT

We had a wonderful time with a few friends. The holidays for the most part were relaxing as opposed to the usualy stressful BS that fills this time of year. We all came away much happier. Both boys are getting bigger so fast. Michael grew another inch. I really think he's going to be tall like my brother! And Marcus is 16lbs and 29inches long at 4months old. He's a very solid, long baby and like his brother has a great disposition.

I still miss people.

The Picto-Personality Test

You are a person who is very calm and kind. You go out of your way to help people who need your help.

When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things.

You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination.

In the future you will have a good family life and lots of friends.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

Interesting...

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 19:13:53 GMT

Who'da thunk it. /end sarcasm

You are the Moon card. Entering the Moon we enter
the intuitive and psychic realms. This is the
stuff dreams are made on. And like dreams the
imagery we find here may inspire us or torment
us. Understanding the moon requires looking
within. Our own bodily rhythms are echoed in
this luminary that circles the earth every
month and reflects the sun in its progress.
Listening to those rhythms may produce visions
and lead you towards insight. The Moon is a
force that has legends attached to it. It
carries with it both romance and insanity.
Moonlight reveals itself as an illusion and it
is only those willing to work with the force of
dreams that are able to withstand this
reflective light. Image from: Stevee Postman.
http://www.stevee.com/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Confessions

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 19:10:13 GMT

your confessions...

[x] I am bisexual

[ ] I am homosexual

[ ] I collect comic books.

[ ] I shut others out when I'm sad

[x] I open up to others easily

[x] I am keeping a secret from the world

[x] I watch the news

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs

[x] I own something from Hot Topic

[x] I like Disney movies

[x] I am a sucker for eyes

[x] I curse regularly.

[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.

[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie

[ ] I have a job

[ ] I love Martha Stewart.

[x] I am in love/like someone.

[x] i am self conscious

[x] I like to laugh.

[ ] I smoke a pack a day.

[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.

[ ] I can't swallow pills.

[x] I have many scars

[x] I've been out of this country

[x] I am really ticklish.

[x] I love chocolate.

[ ] I am comfortable with being me.

[x] I play computer games/video games when I'm bored

[x] Gotten lost in a city

[x] Saw a shooting star.

[x] I had a serious Surgery.

[x] I have kissed a stranger.

[x] Hugged a stranger.

[ ] Been in a fist fight with the same sex.

[ ] Been arrested.

[x] Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.

[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator

[x] Made out in an elevator.

[x] Cursed at your parents.

[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts...but not on purpose

[ ] Been skydiving.

[ ] Been bungee jumping.

[x] Been Para-sailing

[x] Broken a bone.

[x] Played spin the bottle.

[x] Gotten the chicken pox.

[x] Ridden in a taxi.

[ ] Shoplifted.

[x] Been fired.

[x] had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.

[x] Stole something from your job.

[x] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.

[x] Saw someone/something dying.

[x] Riden over 400 miles in one day.

[x] Been on a plane.

[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[ ] Thrown up in a bar.

[x] Eaten Sushi.

[x] Met someone in person from the internet.

[ ] been to a motocross show.

[ ] Done hard drugs

[x] Taken painkillers.

[x] Cheated on someone

Summer is gone

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 19:07:26 GMT

and Fall is approaching fast. Bah I say!! So, new news. Daycare paperwork is done, Im waiting on them now, to schedule the first inspection and hopefully get under-way. The baby is doing very well, growing fast and Michael seems to really enjoy being a big brother.

Shadus got the raise he asked for at work = happy Manda. He also applied for an admin job with the *cough* military...yeah. But if he gets it..hella benefits and double what he's making, post-raise = less stressed out and grumpy Shadus = very happy Manda. Once I start getting kids, we'll be good to go financially. We might even be able to start doing things again, like taking a vacation!

Tonight is the "Adult" Night Out with the Gusbars. Looking forward to it. Every day that goes by seems to amaze me even more sometimes. My horoscope this morning read something to the tune of "sometimes friends move away or fade away, dont let it bring you down. Cultivate new, stronger relationships with new friends and welcome new contacts". Im finding this more and more to be truth.

Outpost Crystal and Co. New Orleans live feeds

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 14:42:02 GMT

Keep up the good work guys and keep the blogs coming. We're all thinking of you.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/interdictor/

Fundraiser season again

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 19:44:56 GMT

Michael is selling Entertainment books this year. At least it's something good this time. If you're intersted in buying one, they are $30 ($5 off the retail price) and you can go to Entertainment.com to make your purchase from anywhere in the US ;) Just enter his seller number: 71785

Michael thanks you.

Support the Bunny

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 18:51:45 GMT

(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
(")_(") webpage to help him gain world domination.

Show your support by visiting http://www.thisisbunny.com

Rain Rain Go Away

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 20:50:46 GMT

..and dont come back!

Our thoughts and good wishes are with the people stranded in New Orleans, Alabama, Mississippi and Florida right now being hit by Hurricane Katrina. Batten down the hatches boys and girls, Ohio is supposed to be feeling it sometime soon too. I hope not...but the forecast looks grim.

On the bright side, I went to the doctor today and got my physical done. On the not so bright side they made me come back later for a blood test for Rhumatoid Arthritis :/

Went shopping with the baby and found some killer deals, got him a few nice little outfits, a super cute pumpkin costume, some soft teether/rattle things and a computer game set for michael. Then had lunch with Shadus' mom. She took the baby while I went back to have blood drawn. I can't thank her enough for being so good to us, she's taken him every saturday so that we can get some sleep or go out. I feel kinda bad, like we're pawning him off but she insists - and she really does love kids so much. Of course he's a perfect angel there, sleeps at night and everything. Huh. Little devil is more like it! He wont sleep at night here...he just fusses. Sleeps during the day fairly well though. Go figure.

Michael started the 2nd grade this week. Can't believe it really. Seems like time has flown by, it's a bit surreal. He likes it though, at least right now. So, Im not complaining.

I pick up my handbook tomorrow and other than getting the animals all thier shots for the year, my paperwork for the daycare is done! Inspection time soon.

Thats all for now.

Swiped from middleton

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 16:59:13 GMT

1. Shadow Dancing, Andy Gibb
2. Night Fever, Bee Gees
3. You Light Up My Life, Debby Boone
4. Stayin' Alive, Bee Gees
5. Kiss You All Over, Exile
6. How Deep Is Your Love, Bee Gees
7. Baby Come Back, Player
8. (Love Is) Thicker Than Water, Andy Gibb
9. Boogie Oogie Oogie, A Taste Of Honey
10. Three Times A Lady, Commodores
11. Grease, Frankie Valli
12. I Go Crazy, Paul Davis
13. You're The One That I Want, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
14. Emotion, Samantha Sang
15. Lay Down Sally, Eric Clapton
16. Miss You, Rolling Stones
17. Just The Way You Are, Billy Joel
18. With A Little Luck, Wings
19. If I Can't Have You, Yvonne Elliman
20. Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah), Chic
21. Feels So Good, Chuck Mangione
22. Hot Child In The City, Nick Gilder
23. Love Is Like Oxygen, Sweet
24. It's A Heartache, Bonnie Tyler
25. We Are The Champions / We Will Rock You, Queen
26. Baker Street, Gerry Rafferty
27. Can't Smile Without You, Barry Manilow
28. Too Much, Too Little, Too Late, Johnny Mathis and Deniece Williams
29. Dance With Me, Peter Brown
30. Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad, Meat Loaf
31. Jack And Jill, Raydio
32. Take A Chance On Me, Abba
33. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill
34. Last Dance, Donna Summer
35. Hopelessly Devoted To You, Olivia Newton-John
36. Hot Blooded, Foreigner
37. You're In My Heart, Rod Stewart
38. The Closer I Get To You, Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway
39. Dust In The Wind, Kansas
40. Magnet And Steel, Walter Egan
41. Short People, Randy Newman
42. Use Ta Be My Girl, O'Jays
43. Our Love, Natalie Cole
44. Love Will Find A Way, Pablo Cruise
45. An Everlasting Love, Andy Gibb
46. Love Is In The Air, John Paul Young
47. Goodbye Girl, David Gates
48. Slip Slidin' Away, Paul Simon
49. The Groove Line, Heatwave
50. Thunder Island, Jay Ferguson
51. Imaginary Lover, Atlanta Rhythm Section
52. Still The Same, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
53. My Angel Baby, Toby Beau
54. Disco Inferno, Trammps
55. On Broadway, George Benson
56. Come Sail Away, Styx
57. Back In Love Again, L.T.D.
58. This Time I'm In It For Love, Player
59. You Belong To Me, Carly Simon
60. Here You Come Again, Dolly Parton
61. Blue Bayou, Linda Ronstadt
62. Peg, Steely Dan
63. You Needed Me, Anne Murray
64. Shame, Evelyn "Champagne" King
65. Reminiscing, Little River Band
66. Count On Me, Jefferson Starship
67. Baby Hold On, Eddie Money
68. Hey Deanie, Shaun Cassidy
69. Summer Nights, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-john
70. What's Your Name, Lynyrd Skynyrd
71. Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue, Crystal Gayle
72. Because The Night, Patti Smith
73. Every Kinda People, Robert Palmer
74. Copacabana, Barry Manilow
75. Always And Forever, Heatwave
76. You And I, Rick James
77. Serpentine Fire, Earth, Wind and Fire
78. Sentimental Lady, Bob Welch
79. Falling, LeBlanc and Carr
80. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, Santa Esmeralda
81. Bluer Than Blue, Michael Johnson
82. Running On Empty, Jackson Browne
83. Whenever I Call You "Friend", Kenny Loggins >>manda edit: This was written by Stevie Nicks<<
84. Fool (If You Think It's Over), Chris Rea
85. Get Off, Foxy
86. Sweet Talking Woman, Electric Light Orchestra
87. Life's Been Good, Joe Walsh
88. I Love The Night Life, Alicia Bridges
89. You Can't Turn Me Off (In The Middle Of Turning Me On), High Inergy
90. It's So Easy, Linda Ronstadt
91. Native New Yorker, Odyssey
92. Flashlight, Parliament
93. Don't Look Back, Boston
94. Turn To Stone, Electric Light Orchestra
95. I Can't Stand The Rain, Eruption
96. Ebony Eyes, Bob Welch
97. The Name Of The Game, Abba
98. We're All Alone, Rita Coolidge
99. Hollywood Nights, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
100. Deacon Blues, Steely Dan

Mental Babble

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 16:00:03 GMT

Another semi sleepless night. It's not so bad, he does sleep, it's just so sporatic. An hour here, three hours there. Ive taken to sleeping on the couch with him because every little sound he makes wakes Shadus up and he has to be able to function for work. He came down at about 4am and offered me the bed but I told him that was silly. I appreciated the gesture though. The baby stilled awhile and I made an attempt to crawl into bed. We had a warm cuddle for about an hour before the fussing started again and baby and I retreated to the couch once more.

12 days since I had the little one, and there are still people who have not even taken the time to return, not one but two emails. People I thought would be happy for me or at least take 2 minutes of thier time to reply and say, congrats! I guess I should of expected it, people change and friends come and go and life gets too busy that friendship is often overlooked or put on the wayside for other things. It's just sad. Maybe it shouldnt bother me as much as it does, maybe I'm just feeling blah..who knows. It's just sad.

Three Days Down

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 16:21:39 GMT

well, I promised an update, here it is. We've survived the first night home. Heh.

The baby only wanted to sleep when he was being held, or sitting upright a bit...that made things a litte difficult. I ended up taking him downstairs to his bouncy chair - it vibrates too - he slept awhile in that, nursed a bit while I watched a few episodes of Unwrapped on the food network, slept a bit more...I eventually had to abandon Shadus in the bed though, he was waking up every time I moved or the baby made any sound and work on no sleep is no fun. We claimed a couch and all was well for the most part.

Got to sleep some after Shadus left for work and baby was well fed, he passed out for about 3 hours. We've discovered he likes the swing too...anything that works for a little sleep time is a good good thing.

Labor. Labor hurt, a lot. But it was bearable and I had amazing support. Shadus claims I didn't even scream or cry - I thought I let out a hollar at one point, but he said it was more like a grunt as I was pushing. Heh. /THAT/ was hard. Not Pushing. My doc wasn't ready when I was...he was delivering another baby in the room across the hall as I was crowning. Yeah. So everyone's telling me, "dont push! dont push! breath, pant, but dont push!" while everything in my being was telling me "push! push!" I spent 10 minutes not pushing, they called in another doctor just in case the baby said to hell with you all, Im coming out! Finally, my doctor came in, was like, oh shit! Got ready as fast as he could and in 3 pushes, we were done.

All in all, it wasn't a bad experience. If my health stands up to it, we might try on more time in a year or two for a girl but that's not decided yet. A lot of things will factor in, finances, health, all that good stuff.

So, my moment of quiet is now over, as there are whimpers and vague sucking air sounds coming from the swing beside me. That means its back to mommy duty! For those of you who are nearby, feel free to come by anytime this week, just give me a call ahead of time!

Again, pics are posted at http://www.marcusweaver.com

Baby is Born

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 01:58:31 GMT

Marcus Christopher Weaver was born Aug 6, 2005 at 9:19pm EST. He weighes 7lbs 13oz and is 19 3/4in. long.

Be proud of me, he was born all natural, minus the Extra Strength Tylenol to take the edge off! (Yeah, thats what the doctor said too!)

More to come later, we're all very tired!

Pics are posted at http://www.marcusweaver.com

Thank you to all our friends and family who have been and will continue be so supportive of us! It's appreciated.

BBQ details to come, plan for the weekend after GenCon.

More babyness

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 22:40:20 GMT

Well, had more doctor appointments today, first with my OB, and then at the hospital for an ultrasound and more monitoring. While the baby did not want to move much, apparently he'd rather be sleeping, his "practice" breathing is very strong and good and his heart rate is good. He is developing fine. My blood sugar seems to be under control still and all of that is well. So...
my doctor informed me that *if* I do not have this baby this week, on Monday he will check to see how far I am dialated and then on Tuesday August 9 - we *will* be having a baby.

So, yeah. The apprehension and anxiety begins as the clock is officially set and countdown starts.

Still on the list to get: a baby bath station, a highchair, a monitor system and someplace comfy for me to sit while nursing, like a glider/rocker.

On the bad baby news, my cousin was 4 months pregnant with a baby girl and ended up getting some kind of infection in her uterus, which forced the baby into the birth canal and they had to induce her labor. The baby lived for 2 hours. While Im very sad for Katie, at the same time I can't help but have a little relief. She was not at all prepared mentally or emotionally, to have a child. She was still drinking heavily, smoking 2 packs a day and smoking pot - mind you..she knew she was pregnant - the baby's father has a crippling disease that likely would of been passed to the baby, giving her some serious physical problems on top of whatever my cousin's lifestyle did to her. She didnt have a job either. No way to support a newborn baby other than with the help of her mother, my aunt. I hate to see anyone grieve the loss of a child, but I hope she grows up a bit before having another.

Mmmm...fried ice cream

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 02:10:45 GMT

Had an excellent dinner with Middleton and Co. tonight for her birthday! Im glad that I got her
out of the apartment for awhile..no one should be alone and unpacking on thier birthday of all days!
Happy Birthday again, my friend. I hope this year was as good as last years and yes...it should be a yearly occurance, to hang out with your friends on this special day.

Latest Life Goings-on

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 15:39:49 GMT

Corbra finally got sorted out..what a huge pain in my ass. Now all the doc bills need to be resubmitted for payment - which could take up to 30 days for Anthem to even recognize that I've elected to continue my coverage through Cobra..and then another 30 days to process payments made and to pay the bills submitted, rejected, and resubmitted in that time. Gotta love our system.

On the bright side, 99% of my paperwork for the daycare is done and turned in. I still have to get my medical statement filled out -which cant happen till after the baby is born, and the records from the vet for the animals. I think they may need a copy of my Diploma as well, but Im not sure of that. Fire inspection was passed with flying colors, the well water was tested and deemed safe to drink. All that's left, aside from that little bit of paperwork, is the county inspections. We will for sure have to mulch under the swingset outside. Other than that..I have no idea what they will want changed/fixed/repaired/replaced. Shadus thinks it's going to be a ton of stuff, I dont know. It's hard to say.

Baby is, as of yesterday 6.5lbs. He is growing well, though there was some concern over a slight abnormality in the amount of growth of his abdomen between last ultrasound and yesterdays. So..now I get to go to Aultman and have a series of tests done, where they hook me to a machine and monitor his movements for a given period of time and then do an ultrasound. I have to do this twice a week, plus see my doc once a week..until the baby is born. If the doc. at the hospital doesnt like anything at all, he will recommend inducing my labor. So...official due date - Aug 17. Due date by ultrasound - Aug 13, actual due date? Whenever. Yay.

Happy Birthday to Middleton

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 14:06:43 GMT

Happy Birthday! :)

Henna Belly Link

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 14:33:19 GMT

Here's one of the pics I promised! Thanks again to Catherine and Roy at The Henna Page!

http://www.geocities.com/philodoxdreams/Reality.html

the slow rolling ball

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 02:37:40 GMT

ensures that things always get worse before they get better. Cobra papers showed up...for the dental. Like that's gonna do me any good. So, I had to call the insurance lady at the nursing home and ask where my medical insurance was, cause..well..I have two ultrasounds that will need covered now..possibly a third. She said it was mailed June 16..well..I was canned on May 31...they waited till June 16 to mail anything and I /still/ havent gotten it? She called the company that handles thier Cobra issues and what do you know...they have to mail me another set of forms. I do hope these come soon..I understand with the recent holiday, mail may be a bit behind. It has till the end of the week before I start calling every single day it doesnt come.

A little good news finally, we passed the fire inspection and I dont actually have to pay the $200 to get the special "permit" for the township zoning. All I need now is the water test done and the county to start thier inspections. This might actually be done before I give birth. I'd be a very happy camper. On the agenda this week: get zone paper signed, pick up the water test kit and send the sample, open a new bank account since I lost my purse and everything in it last week..yeah. Bleh. Start painting the kitchen. Buy the playpen/bassinet combo so the baby has something to sleep in for the first two months of his life before he moves to the nice crib my mom has purchased for him. Get a new pair of sandals, because my feet have officially reached the "oh my gods, how can you walk like that" state of swollen.

And today was one of the more interesting days of my life recently. I had my pregnant belly henna-ed. In fact, my decorated pregnant belly will be the cover for a book that Professor Catherine Cartwright-Jones is assisting with, called La Belly Luna. A book of patterns for the pregnant belly. She did a fantastic job and I intend to go back for more! For of those of you who'd care to look, Professor Cartwright-Jones has a website that can be found at http://www.thehennapage.com. The third Sunday of every month she does a live web-cam show where people can watch her doing her art on someone. I was live today as well ;) And she also has a link from her page to the Indigo Page - an associate of hers has managed to recreate the chemical properties of ancient woad - yes..woad...using the indigo plant. I think I'd like to have the indigo art done next..I love the blue color...and some of the patterns are just...wow. So yes, I will post a link to the digital pics we took when I got home, both before the henna coat came off, and the end result afterward. Both are beautiful.

Another Day

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 02:40:40 GMT

Another year older. Relatively speaking it was an uneventful day. Shadus woke me up to wish me happy birthday at 7am, giggle about how Im closing in on 30, and then inform me there was cat puke in the kitchen that needed picked up. Heh. Michael went to spend his usual weekend with the grandparents.

My mom called and wished me a happy birthday and offered me dinner down at the Hideaway, where she works. I met Shads there when he got off work and we had dinner. It was yummy. Still have Ryan so we really couldn't go /out/ out, or see a movie or anything, so I rented a few movies for him to watch, and one for us. Hopefully its good for some laughs. I'm taking him home in the morning, Lesa was finally released today and wanted one more day to herself. I talked to my dad three times today and he never mentioned my birthday. Not that I expected him to, he hasnt remembered it in quite awhile. Neither did any of the friends of mine I've known the longest. I think Im more disappointed in that than dad forgetting...

Shads however, got me some lovely flowers and pretties for my hair and the entire collected works of Poe and one of those scent-players that I've been eyeballing but never bought cause thier not cheap. Right now, it's on "island coconut" and man do I miss the Caymans every time I walk by it! I think I will save the soothing vanilla disk for when I go into labor and take it with me to the hospital. They let you do stuff like that now. I had a strong lavender candle when I was waiting on Michael to decide to come out, and some soft nature like music..to help me relax...And his mom got me a very nice card and money..she always picks the nicest cards, with pretty glitter and flowers even.

I attended a class this morning on becoming a certified in home day care provider. It's very interesting and according to some friends of mine who have thier own daycare, worth the hassle of all the government paperwork. She made 38k last year. That's a nice income for staying at home...I think we're gonna try it and see what happens. It'll be nice to be able to be home for the kids and still have an income. I'll start working on getting the paperwork turned in within the next two weeks. I can be certified in 4-6 weeks and open for business 2 weeks after baby is born, plus I'll be the only provider in the area certified by the county, which means lots of potential business for me. That's a bonus.

I've also been tempted, being unemployed now, to do a little more gaming, maybe run a game. Shads wants me to run an Amber game, but I couldn't do Amber justice..not like Taewakan. That man runs a mean Amber game...I miss that something aweful sometimes! I'd like to run something more free form...maybe goad Middleton into playing with us too, it'd be good for her! :)...we'll see. I'm still thinking about it.

Sunday is the baby shower. I still have to get my little favors made. The Flower Factory is a wonderful place. Wee.